On September 6, 2011 I put my "baby" on the bus for her first day of kindergarten. It was wonderful in a sad kind of way. The last time I am going to wait in anticipation to see if she would come running back or climb on the bus leaving mama. As I looked for her in all the windows I saw the tops of heads and little finger trying desperately to pull themselves up enough to peek out. How many moms were crying and worried this morning hoping their baby would be ok on their first day of school? Well not me. This was my 15th time and I have become an old hat at it, actually a well worn old hat. I know not all my kids were here for their "first official day of school", but it was the same. Hoping they fit in, make lots a friends and treat everyone how they want to be treated.
I do remember the first time I put Erik on the bus. He waved as he was going up the steps and I tried to find him as he took his seat. All I could see was a tuft of blonde hair. He was too small to be riding that big bus. What happens if he falls off the seat and gets hurt or some big kids picks on him or when he gets to school he gets lost and can't find the right classroom? Or maybe he falls asleep and gets left on the bus and has to stay there all day, I wouldn't know until it was time for him to come home. My heart was racing, God what did I do? I just threw my baby to the wolves. So p.j.'s and all I hopped in my car and raced to the school just in time see him getting off the bus. He survived his first bus ride but I almost didn't. I thanked God for getting him safely to school then I cried. Not sure if I cried because he was safe or I was going to miss him or if I realized this was his first day of independence. He was officially a big boy and I don't think I really liked it. He wasn't going to need me the same way ever again. My heart was broke.
I paced and worried the whole 3 hours he was gone that day, hoping he would get home as safe as he got to school.
As the bus pulled up to driveway to let him off I was right there to greet him with a big smile praying he didn't see the pathetic mess I was. He descended the bus with a look of pride right into my arms. "Mom I missed you today but I had fun". That's all I needed to hear, he missed me.
I have to be honest that wasn't the last time I cried putting one of my babies on the bus for their first day of school. But as the years went by I got better. I didn't cry this year, actually I did a little jig. Home alone for 5 days, 4 hours a day for the next 91/2 months. Yipee!!
