MY CHRISTMAS LIST

Well it's that time of year again, shopping, shopping and more shopping, for me that is. And it is also the time when my husband and kids ask "So, what do you want for Christmas"? I give the same answer every year,
"I really don't need anything". And I don't. Everything I need I usually buy throughout the year....undie, bras, tennis shoes, towels and anything else that happens to wear out. But the truth is if I told you what I really wanted you would be totally mortified. So as this Christmas fast approaches I am going to mortify you all. The Christmas list most moms want but are afraid to ask for.

I want peace on earth, that's a given or at least peace between the kids for a couple of hours when they are awake. I also would like my boobs bigger than my stomach. The hair on my head to grow as fast as the hair on my chin and the hair on my legs to grow as slow as the hair on my head. My butt in the butt position and not behind my knees. My liver spots to be located on my liver and not on my face. My cheek at mid-face and not at the jaw line. One potty break without interruptions. A full nights sleep without a dog or kids in my bed. Long eyelashes, long fingernails and longer legs. Smaller pant size, bigger bra size and be able to see small print without have to stretch my arms out, tip my head back and squint my eyes. And last but not least
total bladder control (something men take for granted).

So heres the list, fill if you can or at least have a good laugh on my behalf like I do everytime I look in the mirror. I always wonder how that old lady of 55 can feel so young, but I guess age is just a number, a few wrinkles and some body morphing.

So Merry Christmas everyone and enjoy the holidays with the ones that don''t care what the package looks like, it's what's inside that counts.

SCHOOL DAZE

      Well it's been a few weeks since the new school year has started. The kids seem to be adjusting to the early morning routine as well as the school day pretty good. I on the other hand find it oddly quiet. I know, I know, when they're all here I complain about the constant the noise, but for some weird reason I also find the noise comforting.
     Anyway, so every year we get a list of suggested supplies the teachers believe would be helpful for our children's education during the school year. Mind you these are only suggestions, we do not have to purchase them but they would like us to. So my suggested supply list for this year cost me close to $200.00. That is not including the 7 backpacks, 7 pairs of shoes plus all the clothes. I'm not complaining, if all the supplies I bought will help my children receive a better education then I can't put a price tag on it, can I?
    A few of my kids have difficulties in a few classes and get a little help. Being a drug addict for 7 months in utero and then going cold turkey has it's problem as well as having their small brains beat in. So I attend IEP's to make sure my kids get the help they need.
At one particular IEP I expressed my concerns regarding my child's inability to spell. The response to my concern was and I quote "Thank God for spell check". Seriously he had the audacity to say that? I was appalled . As far as I am concerned the school system caused a lot of the problems with their writing to read program. Write the word how you think it sound and eventually you learn to spell it right.Whatever happened to good old fashion phonics? Learn the alphabet and their sounds and put it together. It has been many years since I was taught to read and write but I still remember some of the rules of both. When two vowels go walking the first does the talking or i before e except after c. So now I have kids who spell it likes they think it sounds and can't read the word when it is spelled correctly in a sentence.
I am totally confused up to this point as to how odorless dry erase markers, glue sticks and crayons are going to help my child's education. Wouldn't my money be better spent on maybe "Hooked on Phonics".
Give these kids spelling test, oh wait, you can't because they can't spell.
I just read a newsletter from one of my kids teachers and in the 5th grade they are now focusing on vocabulary structure rather than spelling, it's called morphological awareness. Which means they are going to be able to identify parts of a word. That all sounds great if they can get the prefixes and suffixes but don't you need to know how to spell the root word first? I'm just asking.
Now before all the teachers get mad at me let me tell you I have the utmost respect for teacher and bus drivers. I would not want to stand in front of a classroom full of hormonal boys and girls and expect everyone of them to understand everything I have said. As for bus drivers I would never have that many children behind my back at one time.
 I am just voicing my own opinion on what I have experienced with my kids. I also understand a lot of the teaching methods are put into place by the school district and your hands are tied. So for that I apologize if I have offended any teachers that is not my intention.

The Mom Rant

Another Mothers Day has come and gone, a day or in my case a week-end of joyous celebration for me, the mother, mom, mommy, Matilda, Maude, madre  and of course a few other choice names I've been called that I wouldn't put in print.
A day for our children to tell us how wonderful we are and if given a choice they would have chosen us above anyone else to be their mother.
But do they really know what we have gone through and will go through? I think not.
Let me enlighten them just a little.
First off the morning sickness, vomiting at the bedside and repeating to ourselves this won't last the whole 9 months.
Then comes the ill fitting clothes, to fat for your regular jeans but not fat enough for the expando belly version.
Next we start to notice stretch marks, just a few at first then one day an explosion of squiggly lines running all over your mid-section looking a lot like a small child took a red marker all over your freshly painted white wall.
Not to mention the large over flowing breast popping out of your best lace bra which just happens to be the one you were wearing the night you got into this predicament in the first place.
But the worst and most degrading moment of pregnancy is our lack of bladder control, yes kids we peed our pants for you. There was the interrupted sleep, not to many at first but then every hour on the hour the further into the pregnancy we got. We had to know the location of every bathroom in every place we entered. That is why it took us so long to finish an outing.
Then there was the labor, the tiny little cramping that turned into a rhino dancing on your abdomen and a mac truck driving over your back.
Finally the birth, the precious small bundle of joy we pushed out of our VAGINA'S. Our bodies opened up like the parting of the Red Sea and out came this slime covered little human being that we immediately fell in love with. After giving birth anything else you kids can cast upon us is a walk in the park.

But wait that's not all. I not only gave birth but I adopted some of my sweet little humans. Yes you guys came with the pain also, but I love you all the same.
Although there was less physical pain, the emotional pain could be very overwhelming at times.
Any minute I could get a call saying you were leaving me. That in it self was far worse than any labor pain I ever endured. And I did get a few of those calls, it was like a death. I had a few scares too. Looking for family members to take away my kids and finding none who were acceptable to parent. I went from heart stopping grief to the happy dance.
Then there was the, "your not my real mom", sorry to disappoint you, but I am your mom and I am very real so deal with it. You my dear child are stuck with me no matter what.
You just like the bio kids were chosen, I chose to love you the minute I saw you.
Like I have always told you, you were not born from my womb, you were born from my heart.

So the pain of raising children no matter how they come to you is all the same and the joy of raising children no matter how they come to you is also all the same.

Yes we deserve a day of recognition to look at each and every one of our children and remember how blessed we are to have been chosen to be their moms.

This is my legacy, God help me!!