On September 14, 2017 I was involuntarily admitted to "The Club." The club no mother ever wants to be a part of. The one every mother has heard about, had nightmares about and prayed everyday since becoming a parent they would never have to join. The membership is high, the entrance fee is astronomical and the dues are required everyday for the rest of your life. There are no meeting, no formal gatherings or pot lucks, no president or secretary. You don't even meet the other members, but you know their story. It's the same one that got you admitted, they lost a child. Whether it was from birth or their child was an adult, the pain is the same. Accidental, suicide, health related, it's doesn't matter. You will never see your child again, and you will forever have a broken heart.
People have said that I have to cherish my memories and I do. I thank God everyday for them, but I wanted more. I'm kind of selfish in that way. I wanted to see my daughter get married, buy a house, have children, but instead I planned her funeral.
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| Her unforgettable smile! |
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